Mr Wopsley's Horse
His Second Adventure -
Nibbly-Nip and Tiddly-Tea
It all went wrong when the Mopperdops at Odle-Kum-Land had their Sunday morning sing song. From Monday to Saturday they allow Mr Wopsley’s Horse to stay in the small room at the back of Mopperdops Hall. But on Sunday when they have their weekly sing song he has to make himself scarce. This is partly because he does tend to smell a bit (putting them off their Sunday roast beef) but also because he joins in the singing. And the only tune he knows is the theme tune to Neigh-Bores.
So as the Mopperdops were getting off the bus outside Mopperdop Hall, Mr Wopsley’s Horse got on. The Nice Drivver sighed at this. He remembered the disaster a few weeks ago when the Horse got stuck on the bus and squashed Maisie and Moppet. The Nice Drivver was very strict and explained that the bus company no longer allowed horses upstairs. This was just as well as he was driving a single deck bendy-bus that day. Mr Wopsley’s Horse very obediently took a seat or two near the front and the bus moved off.
Everything was fine until that disastrous stop where Maisie and Moppet had been squashed. The Nice Drivver was dead worried that they might be waiting for the bus and that an embarrassing scene might happen. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that they were sitting in their garden still bandaged up from the squashing day. He was about to drive on when he heard a loud “Hic!” and a customer emerged from the bus shelter.
“Oh no!” cried the Nice Drivver, “It’s Nibbly-Nip and Tiddly-Tea!”
That was definitely bad news. Nibbly-Nip and Tiddly-Tea are well known in Odle-Kum-Land. They live together in a caravan next to the council allotments. Nibbly-Nip is famous for his size. He loves a quick nibble. Deep fried chocolate, chips and cream cakes are his favourite nibbles. And, of course, these are washed down with a quick nip from his everlasting whisky flask.
Tiddly-Tea is the Temperance Queen of nearby Kangaswood. She has proclaimed that during her reign no drink other than refreshing mint tea shall touch her lips. This is the truth. She is rather partial to a drop of gin – or two or three. Well, to be quite honest, by two or three bottles a day. The gin never touches her lips – she just pours it down her throat straight from the bottle. Hence always being a bit tipsy. The mint tea is just a way of freshening her breath and getting rid of the smell of gin.
Today Nibbly-Nip and Tiddly-Tea were off to the seaside to lead a Tee-Total Rally on the beach. He was wearing a giant beach-ball and clogs. His flask hung from a necklace of bright red beads. Tiddly-Tea was wearing a white bridal gown and an enormous straw hat covered with real flowers and real fruit. They both lurched a little as they climbed on the bus where they waved their bus passes at the Nice Drivver and wobbled to their seats.
Nibbly-Nip staggered right down the bendy bus to the very back. Tiddly-Tea sat just in front of Mr Wopsley’s Horse where she hicked and burped gently as the bendy-bus wiggled its way along the High Street.
It so happens that Mr Wopsley’s Horse is partial to a drop of gin. So he gets on very well with Tiddly-Tea and spends many an evening with her at his local pub, The Dofflin. The Horse leaned forward and tapped Tiddly-Tea on the shoulder hoping she would offer him a swig from her flask. Unfortunately he was answered by a light snore. She had been guzzling gin since dawn and was ready for a nap. Also very unfortunately Mr Wopsley’s Horse got a whiff of the flowers, the fruit and the straw of Tiddly-Tea’s hat. And he was very hungry. He had overslept that morning and had to rush out to be ready for the bus. And he had missed his breakfast.
Temptation is very difficult to ignore. But Mr Wopsley’s Horse knows his duty and decided to move away from the hat before he fell into evil ways and ate it. He got up from his seat and started to reverse himself down the aisle to sit at the back of the bendy-bus. That’s when it all went wrong. Just as he got to the middle bendy bit the Nice Drivver went road a corner just a bit too fast. The bendy bit jack-knifed leaving the front end of Mr Wopsley’s Horse at ninety degrees to the back half.
This was too much for the horse. All of his supper (and every pint he had downed at The Dofflin on Saturday night) came gushing out. – some from the front and some from the back. And when a horse gushes he does it well. Everything came out. All the beer, all the chips, all the hay and all of the jam roly-poly that his Aunt Dorry had made for him.
Nibbly-Nip leapt to his feet and swayed forward knocking the bell. This made the Nice Drivver put his brakes on too fast and the bus crashed to a halt. Everyone knows you should never do that to a bendy-bus. It broke apart in the middle and the back half (with Nibbly-Nip on it) went trundling down the hill back towards Odle-Kum-Land. The Nice Drivver panicked and took his foot off the brake. The front half of the bus popped off like a cork out of a champagne bottle straight up the hill and down the other side before leaving the road altogether and being brought to a premature halt by hitting Mr Nobble’s plum tree.
In the meantime Mr Wopsley’s Horse was sitting on the road where the bus had split in two. All his supper was gone and he had missed his breakfast. What’s a hungry horse to do? His whole day had gone wrong. Or had it? There, in a driveway by the side of the road, was a Quad Bike. Is this the beginning of his next adventure?